Oy vey.
Content Warning: This blog post discusses rape and sexual assault. Last Friday night, the night after I was absolutely gutted by Hadestown (see previous post for more details), I was in for a very different theatrical experience. On Friday evening I saw the play When It Happens to You by Tawni O'Dell, described as the writer's "theatrical memoir. " The play is based on the true experience of Tawni's daughter Tirzah's rape and the aftermath, and how the trauma impacted their entire family for years. Let me start by saying this. If I had not done literally, the bare minimum of research to find out what the play I was seeing was about, I would have walked into the theatre having no idea that rape was mentioned in the play, nonetheless the crux of the entire piece. This is the exact marketing blurb from their website: "Based on her personal experience, Tawni O’Dell’s theatrical memoir, When It Happens to You, is about a mother’s struggle to help restore a sense of safety and wholeness to her family after her daughter was the victim of a brutal attack. It’s a journey that continues to this day, nearly five years since she received that middle of the night phone call every parent dreads." The website also has one quote from the play that says that Tawni's daughter was assaulted and goes on to say: "Rape touches just about every one of us. More women are sexually assaulted in this country than are affected by heart disease and breast cancer combined. To say it is an epidemic, is not hyperbole." If this fact, that rape is an epidemic that touches every one of us, is something the writer and the production team know to be true, than how on earth could they be so irresponsible in their storytelling? Let me illuminate this topic with a play by play of my theatre going experience: When I walked into the theatre, I picked up my ticket from will call and was directed towards an usher. The usher handed me a program, let me know that they play was 90 minutes with no intermission (thank God, I thought), and pointed me towards my seat. I sat down and began to read the program. There was no program note, which is common, but in this case I found completely unacceptable. This is a play that deals with violent sexual assault and rape, which I knew from the website, not from any sort of lobby display, verbal communication from box office staff or ushers, or from any written communication in the program. While I am not surprised at the lack of a program note, I am completely shocked that there was no content warning, or, at the BARE MINIMUM, a phone number for a rape crisis hotline. The fact that this play is based on a true story and deals with not only the trauma of the rape, but the trauma of going through the court system, the medical system, health insurance, employment, dating again, etc, makes it that much worse! There is a line in the play where Tawni says she is so grateful that she was there to help Tirzah navigate the medical and legal system because so many people don't have that support and are left to figure it out (or not figure it out) all on their own. And Tirzah's case was, for lack of a better word, straightforward. She was violently assaulted by a stranger who followed her home from a restaurant, and they were able to use security footage to verify this. This is not common and often time rape cases are stuck in the system for years because of the rape kit backlog. So many people are never locked up for the crime they commit. I find it truly difficult to respond and reflect on a play that didn't take responsibility for the safety of their audience members. I, thankfully, was not triggered by the story being told, but found myself so concerned for my fellow audience members that I was completely disengaged and disconnected from the story being told. I knew that so many people sitting around me were crying, and I can only imagine why. Maybe they were being moved by the story being told because of their empathy for the characters. However, as is pointed out in the play's closing monologue, one in four women have been sexually assaulted, and that is a low estimate. Tawni literally looks out into the audience and says (I'm paraphrasing), "If you know four women, you know someone who has been raped. It could be your mom, sister, friend, (etc etc) or the woman sitting next to you right now." IF YOU ARE SAYING TO THE AUDIENCE THAT ONE IN FOUR WOMEN IN THIS THEATRE HAVE BEEN RAPED AND YOU ARE NOT PROVIDING SUPPORT FOR THEM THEN WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!?!?! I retained hope. I thought maybe I would walk out of the theater after curtain call and see a table with a counselor sitting behind it, or be handed a pamphlet with phone numbers, websites, and other resources. But no. I just walked out. Amongst a bunch of tearful people whose feelings were not being supported. I should probably write them a strongly worded email. The play is running through November 10, so they still have time to make a program insert! Anyway, I should say some nice things, even though not only was the play irresponsible, but it wasn't a very good play. This is a thing that I'm probably not allowed to say, because it's based on a true story, but not all true stories should be plays. Or rather, if a true story is going to be made into a play, you need to be comfortable sacrificing some truth to make the play good. This is not the first time I've sat through something based on a true event and had people around me crying and I just sat there upset because the play is bad. You can't just turn off your dramaturgy brain!* *Dramaturgy brain can only be turned off if Harry Potter is involved. Okay! A compliment! Kelly Swint did a really wonderful job playing the incredibly difficult and emotionally taxing role of Tirzah. Her first scene of the play is her sobbing hysterically in the aftermath of her rape. This is, in my opinion, not a great first moment, but I understand it. Swint played Tirzah with so much compassion and nuance and really demonstrated such a full emotional spectrum in the span of the play. Additionally, Tawni O'Dell is clearly a skilled writer. There were many moments of the play where I thought to myself that if I was reading it as a memoir alone in my room I probably would also be crying. I'm not heartless. I just couldn't allow myself to be vulnerable in that space because of the lack of support. So, if you or a loved one is a survivor of rape or sexual assault, please call the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or visit www.rainn.org. You are not alone.
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Stephanie KaneI like reading plays, drinking lots of coffee, and holding other people's Tony Awards. Archives
August 2018
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